Shush!

Still off work. I need to arrange to see the doctor and get a sick note for this week but I haven't even got the inclination to do that. I've done absolutely nothing but the bare essentials for over a week. I walk Max, eat, and sleep all the other times. Just standing waiting for the kettle to boil I have the urge to close my eyes and sleep. I've worked out that I can avoid going to the shops again today. More fish fingers and oven chips for tea tonight and there's still some bread and a couple of eggs for breakfast tomorrow. May even be able to stretch oven chips and fish fingers for another day. What a state. I was hoping that the weight would have lifted a little by now and I'd have the energy to start on the road to recovery - no such luck. And why "Shush!"? Because I find myself nearly blurting out what I'm thinking. It's like I've lost the filter between thought and mouth. I have no patience. A lady, a nice lady, whom I bumped into yesterday and was chatting to, telling her why I wasn't at work, said to me this morning when I bumped into her again "You feeling any better?" I caught myself muttering "No. Do you really think I'm gonna get better over night?" Though she never heard me it made me realise I was in a dangerous place. Maybe I need my dose upping. Or just more time. "Time's a great healer" or so they say, well it isn't when you're running out of patience. I'm fed up with being fed up and I'm even more fed up of waiting for the sock puller upper to come along.